My Family Too
So my great grandpa (on my dad’s side) died last night. I feel bad for my dad because when he dropped us off he was trying not to cry but he is bad at hiding things like that. I don’t know anyone on my dad’s side of the family other than his parents/my grandparents and a few of his cousins. But I don’t know who is grandpa is, honestly I didn’t even know that we still had a great grandparent. I know pretty much everybody on my mom’s side and when my grandma talks about some of our relatives I sometimes don’t know who she is talking about but that is because my mom’s side is big. At least my mom let us be part of her life and visited them and took us along. My dad never talks about his family or takes us to visit family on his side. I have a right to want to know them because they are my family too even if it doesn’t seem like it to my dad. A lot of you might not understand me but there are probably so many people on his side that I have never even heard of, like his grandpa. My dad wants me to go to the funeral and of course I am going because I want to be there for my dad, he is so upset and I was the same way when I lost my grandpa and I know how he feels. I am not going to ask him if he wants to talk because that is not our relationship, I think it will (hopefully) mean a lot to him that we are there for him. I want him to know that I love him and I forgive him even if I am furious at him sometimes. Sometimes when I am sad I don’t want to talk about it I just want for someone to be there for me and I know that I am not alone in my time of need. Maybe that is one of the few things I have in common with my dad. I know it sounds weird but I wish I were sad, I wish that I was upset about my great grandpa dying but I can’t be because I have no idea who he is/was. I hate cemeteries because it makes me think about the two people I lost, my mom’s grandma and my grandpa Charlie, and people I might lose so going to the cemetery is going to be hard and my dad might not know this but I am willing to face this fear to be there for him and I might cry because it is going to be upsetting watching people cry and say good-bye again but I will. My dad is important to me and I love him so much even if it has been a rough time forgiving him, he is my father and I can’t be mad at him forever. So next week I am going to a funeral to be there for my dad. Thank you for reading this, it means a lot to me, to be able to just talk about how I feel and this is how I feel right now.
Small Moments Matter
Almost every year we put up our Christmas tree as a family. Like most families we have fun. I love putting up Christmas lights and putting lights on the tree. My favorite part of putting the tree up is putting the ornaments on the tree because it brings back great memories. I have one that shows my first Christmas and some that we made and those are great memories too. I really love how my family gets together to do small things, I am lucky to have a great family. Me and my family don’t get along a lot of the time but I love them so much. Small moments like putting up our Christmas tree and watching a movie together bring us together and I love those moments. I sometimes look at these things and think they are just small but they are the moments that keep us as a family and that let us remember the people who love us. So putting up the tree is fun and putting up ornaments is my favorite part but really my favorite part is being with my family. I love my family and spending time together is a great part of my life and I wouldn’t trade for anything in the universe.
Dec. 3, 2009
Today was a terrible day. First, it snowed and was almost below 0 degrees and when I walked into school some of my hair was frozen! I’m not going to school tomorrow because I don’t think I could handle it because today we had to put down Max. His ears were so bad that dad said that the vet said that it was a good thing that we brought him because he could hardly move his head. Mom had dad take him because she couldn’t do it. I know I am mad at my dad but I am thankful that he didn’t make my mom do it. Last night I didn’t feel sad but I didn’t know why, the worst part was having to watch dad take him away. He picked up Max and took him to his car, it was too hard to watch so I went to the bathroom and I cried. I wanted to run after him and tell him not to take Max but I knew that Max was in pain and he had to go. As I am crying I just miss him and can’t believe that he is gone. Kasey and Lindsey thought it was hard and sad just to say good-bye but they didn’t have to watch him get taken and see his little face looking innocent, like he had no idea what was going on and that goes for Angel too. Angel started crying because she was alone and didn’t know what was happening and I couldn’t take it. It was the worst feeling in the world to watch him leave and to not do anything about it. He was a great dog, I just hope that he isn’t in pain any more.
Fall Break
So at this time I am on Fall Break, that makes me really happy!!! At the same time it is snowing so even if it wasn’t fall break I probably wouldn’t have school anyway. So I have had two sleep-overs with my best friend Maddy and those were fun and other than that, honestly, I have been watching “Lost” which is only one of the best series in the world! Other than that I have been playing Wii and watching T.V. but I haven’t been watching T.V. as much as I used to which is a surprise. I have mostly been keeping my mom company since she is doing calls, I talk to her, she probably thinks I am really annoying even if she already knows that I am. She is lucky that I watch “Lost” down stairs where she works because every once and a while she can look over and watch a little bit. This blog has no point other than to tell you about my fall break and how much I am loving the break from high school. Thank you for reading this blog,
Rake or Leaf Shredder?
My mom went on a walk with her friend and she told us to go outside after we were done watching an episode of C.S.I. so me and my sister did what she said. She also dropped us hints like, “It wouldn’t be such a bad idea to rake the leaves.” So we went outside and we took turns, first Kasey would rake while I would jump on the pogo-stick (at the time I had reached 283 on the pogo-stick) and then we switched. When I started to rake I realized that it wasn’t getting all of the leaves. Not only was I not getting all of the leaves but I realized that it was shredding the leaves into a million pieces. I was surprised, I have raked leaves before but I never really paid attention when I raked leaves. Anyway, I realized that rakes are meant to put leaves in a pile and it just cut them up so my question is “is it a rake or a leaf shredder?” Thank you for reading my blog.
Sad
For some reason I have been feeling pretty sad lately and I am not exactly sure why. I an idea. I think a lot of it is coming from the stress of school, all of my classes are hard and my grandma expects me to get at least four A’s and that is out of seven classes. I am positive that I can try really hard but I can never be too sure. The stress could also be coming from home or after school I am worn out and just want to sleep but I am busy almost every day after school. I am starting to get irritated easier and I am getting in more fights with my mom than normal. High School has really changed me, I am getting to know new people and getting to realize how much I can’t wait to get out of school. I am glad that I am trying to get involved with things like the play and I want to try out for the tennis team. Right now I have practice almost everyday after school until about 5:30 and on Monday I have dance at 6 so when I do have practice on a Monday I can’t really make it to dance. On Tuesday I have youth group at 7:30 and I don’t get home until 9 and on Wednesday I have dance at 7. I am always doing something and I can never wait for Friday. The only days that I get to sleep in are Wednesday (only until eight) and Saturday. I wish that school was only four days a week but apparently the school board wants us to be smart, whats up with that. I could learn a lot in four days and I’m sure many people could live with that. Anyway the point is that I am way stressed and I don’t know what to do about it so if you have any advice I would love it. Thank you for reading my blog.
Cramps
Now almost every girl I know had dealt with cramps and they have dealt with cramps too. I have practically only had five periods because I didn’t start too long ago but I started long enough to know how terrible cramps hurt. The way everything is playing out it looks like I will have mine the last week of every month but it has only been five times so I can’t be sure. All I know is that I have had really bad cramps and all I want to do is curl up and go into a coma for a whole week until it is over. They hurt so bad that not even Midol can help all of the time. First I couldn’t even find the Midol so I was taking IB Pro-fin and that helped but I was miserable with cramps. I couldn’t even drink caffeine which was OK because that would have made my cramps worse. Luckily my mom was there with me through it and the last time that I had cramps that bad, my grandma was a great help and I was so thankful that she was there. Luckily it is over but sadly I have to look forward for another at the end of this month. I feel sorry for all that are going through this and those that are getting ready to start because it really isn’t fun and you are not missing anything. Thanks for reading this blog.
Meteor (not a real one)
I think that I have just spent 4 hours of my life on a two episode show that have actors that I don’t even know and they couldn’t act if the world was actually ending. There is no way on Earth that this was a hit because I would know, and when these people act like they are crying there are no tears coming from their eyes. The same girl has said “We are all going to die.” and every time nobody has died so maybe this time they can actually die so that my mom can go to bed, for no particular reason. She keeps saying that if the old cop dies that she will delete one of the actually good shows about the world ending, even if that doesn’t seem right. The same girl keeps missing her chance to actually save the world and it’s like no matter what she does the world will end. The old man ended up living and the world was just saved so maybe we can finish the movie with bad acting. The meteor was hit away from Earth so now everyone can get on with their fake lives and fake acting. Maybe it would be the best for all of us if they didn’t make another movie about the world ending as long as the world is still safe from a real meteor. That was my blog about bad acting and if you saw the show I am talking about and you liked it I am very sorry for my blog but that was my opinion.
High School
Hey, this is my first blog in a very long time. I have been busy on vacation until about the last 3 or 4 weeks. Now I have been doing ok in high school, I have figured out my schedule and where I am supposed to be, everything is going fine except for the fact that I keep forgeting the work for the next day. You may think, “don’t you need the same things everyday?”, well no I don’t. We have this schedule with different days, My schedule says that I have 7 classes a day but that is not how it works, some days are blue days and others are silver days. Blue days are odd days, classes 1, 3, 5, and,7. Silver days are even days, classes 2, 4, 6, and 8. I have to keep track of my stuff and determine which stuff belongs to which day. Now I told you I have only 7 classes, that means that on even/silver days I get to go home early which is why I like those days the best. The way they decide this is just by every other day is a different color day and they know which day it is because on the first day thy started with your odd classes so you can start with period one. Now the only way high school is going good for me is because of my friends. I have friends in almost all of my classes except for gym and photography but I am managing to make new ones. Photography is probably my favorite class because we get to learn how to actually develope pictures the old fashion way and it is amazing. We are now taking photos with paint cans and it is so amazing how it works. We just put photo paper in the can with a really small hole poked in it and then we go and put it in front of the thing we want to take a picture of for five seconds and then you take it back to the dark room and then develope the picture. It is so amazing and I love it! So that is how my high school freshmen year is going. Thank you for reading it.
Trust
In every person’s life they have family and friends. Not only that but when you have friends and family in order for them to be your friends and family you need to be able to trust them. All the time I am able to trust my mother because she is there for me and she always tells me the truth and my friends can tell me anything. No matter what happens I know that I can trust my friends and the friends that I can’t trust then I know that I shouldn’t tell them anything that they cannot be trusted with. Some friends that you have, you know you can trust but with others there is a feeling. That feeling is the feeling that they are going to go and tell someone your biggest secret as soon as you tell them. My dad isn’t the type of person that you can really trust. Most people might think that he might be a little easier to trust, but he isn’t. I trusted my dad as a child but as a teenager I know what he did and I know that for a long time my dad will not gain my trust. But through this whole blog all I know is that without trust the people in your life are not your real family and/or friend. Trust is the most important thing between people because without trust then life would be a total lie. Thanks for reading this blog.
